How to turn down a social invite?
Ok, my son (4yrs old) has a best friend at nursery, and his mother keeps saying we should get together and the boys can have a play date and when am i free?
Problem: I really don't want to socialise with this woman. I do not socialise, apart from my regular once a week knitting group which is part of my routine. I do not have any interest in getting to know her (I don't even know her name!, which she did tell me and I promptly did not bother to remember).
I do not want to take time out from my routine to 'talk', and 'get to know her'.
I know she is my son's friend's mother and most people would make an effort to get to know them, but I just can't drum up any kind of interest, and the thought of having to fake an interest just fills me with dread.
So far I have said I am very busy, and I can't commit to anything right now, and then left as quickly as I can without it looking like I am running away, but I can't keep making up excuses. I don't want to have to start hiding from her in panic, which will most likely happen.
How do I get her to leave me alone without coming across as a complete b****? Our son's will be at nursery for another two years!
Please help!
What are your reasons for not wanting to get to know this person?
I think if your son is going to be at this nursery for 2 years, you're going to have to make some sort of plan to try and get to know her better. This is because I don't think that avoiding her throughout the whole two years is going to do you or her any good. It might affect the friendship your son has with his best friend.
most people here are dying to make friends i would jump at the opportunity that you are chucking away.
having a companion at sons school is so much helpful they can help us with the notes left out and sons studies etc.
i regret not making such friendship and now when my son is in 4th grade i face so much problems....his books are incomplete,
i dont know whats going around in school etc etc.
i think you might be bipolar or sociopath you should get treatment for that.......because in long run it can be causing more harm
for you.
when 2 years back i had a maniac episode i cut off socially from everyone and everything and now i kind of regret it
_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET
Problem: I really don't want to socialise with this woman. I do not socialise, apart from my regular once a week knitting group which is part of my routine. I do not have any interest in getting to know her (I don't even know her name!, which she did tell me and I promptly did not bother to remember).
I do not want to take time out from my routine to 'talk', and 'get to know her'.
I know she is my son's friend's mother and most people would make an effort to get to know them, but I just can't drum up any kind of interest, and the thought of having to fake an interest just fills me with dread.
So far I have said I am very busy, and I can't commit to anything right now, and then left as quickly as I can without it looking like I am running away, but I can't keep making up excuses. I don't want to have to start hiding from her in panic, which will most likely happen.
How do I get her to leave me alone without coming across as a complete b****? Our son's will be at nursery for another two years!
Please help!
I know someone does not want to hang around me, when that person somehow keeps being unavailable when I call them to hang out. Perhaps they are really busy, who cares. If they are too busy for me, they don't deserve my attention in the first place, it's not like earth will stop spinning and the sky will fall, so I move on. If you have more than one friend, they can't all be busy at the same time.
How do I get her to leave me alone without coming across as a complete b****? Our son's will be at nursery for another two years!
Simple, hang out with the lady. If you don't, there will be consequences for your son, the lady will tell her son not to talk to your son because she will think you're rude or wierd.
Is that fair, no. Is it fair if your son is lonely no. Life isn't fair, suck it up and do it for your son.
Wow, it has taken me awhile to reply as the answers I got back have made me rather upset. I was asking for genuine help on a forum I thought was supposed to be supportive and non-judgemental. I have extreme trouble communicating in spoken and written form, so maybe I have not expresssed myself clearly.
My son has already been at this nursery for a year and has special needs status, due to his development and speech problems. He is still under assessment, with no diagnosis as yet. His friend is more than a year younger than him. They spend 8 hours a day, five days a week together. They do not lack time together, nor is my son lonely.
We BOTH however have severe difficulties with new people, places and situations, and need plenty of advance preparation. I can spend an entire week panicing before a social engagement. (and that is with people I have known a long time). I find other people's need to socialise unnecessary and confusing, and the effort to appear normal, and interested, exhausting. I do have some friends, but maybe in your terms they would not be, but to me they are. They are very kind and accepting of my 'quirks'.
Yes, I should make an effort, but as i am currently am having difficulties with even basic day to day stuff, I think it may be too much to deal with right now. Maybe if i go ahead, she will realise how wierd i am and not bother to ask me again, so solving my problem. But then her kid will be friend's with the boy with the wierd mother. I really prefer my own company and would like to find a way to be left alone without hurting anyone's feelings. And preferably doesn't involve me running away and hiding in a panic attack.
I'm so sorry, I was rash and insensitive to say suck it up. I'm sorry, I was an ASS. If the lady's son has developmentally dificulties, the lady should be understanding. Tell her the truth, what you explained just now.
Also, consider if in the future ifyour anxiety were to diminish a bit if you would meet with her.
I thought you didn't care about your kid but it's obvious that you do AND, you've got a lot of anxiety from new meetings. I didn't know that when I wrote suck it up and I'm sorry that I said suck it up, I was an ass.
Tell her the truth, she should be understanding. EDIT: Tell her the truth about your fears and anxiety of new social situations-not that you don't feel the need to socialize. You would socialize if you could.
The lady should be understanding. Write down a letter and hand it to her. If she could read what you just wrote hear, she'd understand.
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Male hobbies that turn women off |
Today, 5:28 pm |
How To Turn Down The Volume & Protect Wildlife In Your |
03 Jun 2025, 9:25 pm |
I've made an "Autism" Matrix.org "room". Want an invite? |
07 Jul 2025, 2:08 pm |
Social Security |
22 Apr 2025, 8:42 pm |