A new social idea in regards to eye contact...

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Looking around, I am always distracted by things. When I am looking at someone... even just eye contact... I can manage just fine. But moving my eyes, I quickly move to other things of interest...

Um, yeah and I think it's kind of a problem talking with ladies.

But it only seems to be a problem when moving my eyes. So I thought up a solution... everytime I move my eyes. I just close em... I know generally where I want to look... so when I get there I open them again.

Here is the problem, I have no idea how this will be interpreted by others. It's a fine solution to my problem... but it might be considered so odd that I am creating more problems than I'm solving.

Has anyone else come up with this? Am I starting to go crazy...

Yes, I think it will be perceived as strange, and will make others feel uncomfortable. Sorry!

Yes, I have had people get after me about
that. It is embarrassing and frustrating, since
they are trying to change something about me
that I do not know how to do. I guess they
think they are being helpful, but it kind of
comes across that they think I am flawed.

Most people that have mentioned it, to me
anyway, have not been very tactful, because
they simply don't understand that this is an
extremely difficult thing for many people.
They are not nearly as sensitive, or very NT as
the abbreviation goes, and have no concept
of a how a person on the spectrum senses
things and perceives life.

I guess it can be worked on. I have tried to over
the years. I can do it a lot easier with someone
I know and trust real well, but it has always been
very difficult. All I can do is my best, and if other
have a problem with that, well...then maybe they
need to check themselves.

I believe people try to correct this in others
because they have learned that some people
who lie, tend to avoid eye contact, which is true,
but not always. What many do NOT know is that
it is a trait of Aspies and Auties. Some people
who are shy and easily intimidated, whether it
was because they were abused at some point,
or are on the spectrum, or both, can also be
a reason for avoiding eye contact.

You say that you can manage eye contact at times?

What I would do if I noticed my drifting eyes and thought it might make a difference with the person I was speaking with, would be to make a small comment something like, "Just to let you know, if I'm not looking at you directly, it doesn't mean I'm not listening to you.".

Since I have ADD/HD, my issue with eye contact is that I am always catching movement and redirecting my eyes to that.
I have not had anyone say anything to me directly, but I'm sure it has been the reason some of my conversations sorta drift off.

Partly that and mostly because I may end the conversation abruptly.
When I'm standing, talking with someone, and another individual I know comes by, I may all-of-a-sudden stop the first conversation and start a new one with the second person, expecting that the first conversation is still open and I can swing back into that any old time.

I tend to agree that if you close your eyes and open them while looking in a different direction, this may be more of a problem to the person you are speaking with, than if you just had drifting eyes from time-to-time.

Hope I got your question right.

Actually this is not so strange depending on the context. It was part of the desensitising exercises I did with my therapist. I can explain in more detail if you like.

Go right ahead, I'd appreciate it. What I'm thinking of is fairly subtle, maybe only half closed eye lids.

Actually, it's kind of like when I don't wear glasses. Without glasses I can't make out much far away detail, I don't get distracted by it, my eyes don't dart around.