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Joined: 1 Jun 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 488

19 May 2009, 6:05 pm

It happened again today, like it always does. I was outside, playing with my brother, and then I started to get tired. Usually, when I get tired, I get irritable. So, I finished the game with him. Then, I started to go inside. "One more game, Muta! Please" He begged. So I said fine. And sure enough...even though he's coaching me...he likes to imitate my shortcomings. Either my swings when we play badminton, the way I run, etc., as though he's my fricken coach. What he doesn't get for whatever reason is: I don't like being coached. I don't like being imitated, and I especially don't like being yelled at/loud voiced at/whatever you want to call it. It is for that reason that I don't like organized sports: I don't like being coached.

Anyway, I'm tired, and we started to play again. He then began to imitate my running style, what I was doing when I wasn't "in stance," whatever that means, etc. And he did it all very rudely. I tried to talk to him about this, and he said "That's how you take it," which of course I'm sure he's very proud of being able to imitate his mom rather than try to solve a problem. :roll:

My question is this: How to I communicate to him that when I'm done playing with him, I'm done. This way, he doesn't guilt trip me; this way he doesn't proceed to coach me and make me feel bad about my lack of coordination (which, by the way, being an aspie and all, I can't really help), and all of this while being irritable. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Last edited by Mutanatia on 19 May 2009, 6:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

19 May 2009, 6:19 pm

Just tell him you are tired and don't play nice with him when he won't listen to you. I get nasty when people don't listen because I am sick and tired of being ignored. I would tell him "What part of "I'm tired" don't you understand? Are you really that stupid?" Maybe that'll teach him.


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Joined: 14 Jun 2007
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,745
Location: Middle East

24 May 2009, 10:58 am

NTs favor the so-called "white lie" approach. Give him an excuse that he'll know it's an excuse but won't be able to call you on it. A common one is to say you're going to the bathroom, and after that start doing something so when he asks you to come back to play, you say you can't because you've already started doing something else and are in the middle. For some strange reason, After a couple times of this, they learn that when you've had enough or they've offended you, you'll go to "the bathroom" and stop the game. NTs love this twisted kind of approach, and anything more truthful will get them to only nudge and pester you, badmouth you, act offended, etc... They call it "letting them save face" --- meaning, they prefer to be lied to that you can't, rather than feel rejected because you won't. I wish someone had taught me this when I was a child already.

So-called white lies are like fake jewelry. Adorn yourself with them if you must, but expect to look cheap to a connoisseur.