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I don't fit in with social groups for others with autism

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chris1989
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06 Jun 2025, 11:07 am

I've been to a couple of places in which others on the autism spectrum meet, one was set up by the autistic trust uk and another had a mixture of other people with other conditions. Even though I went to them, I still felt like I didn't fit or want to be there, I felt like the only one who was mildly autistic and the rest were a bit more severe than me, non verbal and so on.

I've always aspired to be to meet others like me who may not be autistic and I don't know if that is going to be difficult. It just feels like the only places you'd find other non autistic people younger or the same age as me, are going to be at the pubs, bars and so on, which I barely go to except occasionally with family and not on my own.

People have said you need to find others who have similar interests to you but even that feels hard.



Mona Pereth
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08 Jun 2025, 6:12 pm

chris1989 wrote:
People have said you need to find others who have similar interests to you but even that feels hard.

What are your interests?


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Mona Pereth
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14 Jun 2025, 2:22 pm

chris1989 wrote:
I've been to a couple of places in which others on the autism spectrum meet, one was set up by the autistic trust uk and another had a mixture of other people with other conditions. Even though I went to them, I still felt like I didn't fit or want to be there, I felt like the only one who was mildly autistic and the rest were a bit more severe than me, non verbal and so on.

As far as I can tell, the U.K. has the best-developed autistic adult community in the world. It should certainly be possible for you to find some Level 1 autistic potential friends. Keep looking.

Also, don't discount the possibility that some people who are "a bit more severe than" you could turn out to be good potential friends.

Within the autistic adult community, don't just look for support groups and social groups. Look for art classes, acting classes, writing classes, etc., if any of those things interest you. While there are no guarantees, good friendships can be and often are built around shared hobbies.


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chris1989
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16 Jun 2025, 12:15 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:
chris1989 wrote:
People have said you need to find others who have similar interests to you but even that feels hard.

What are your interests?


Reading, writing, sometimes going out to places shopping for books, some new clothes etc.



Double Retired
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16 Jun 2025, 12:55 pm

I would be looking for food.


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Mona Pereth
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16 Jun 2025, 2:47 pm

chris1989 wrote:
Reading, writing, sometimes going out to places shopping for books, some new clothes etc.

What kinds of books do you especially like to read? Any particular genres you like, or authors you are especially fond of?

Also, what kinds of things do you like to write (besides your posts here on WP)?


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Summer_Twilight
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20 Jun 2025, 7:27 am

chris1989 wrote:
I've been to a couple of places in which others on the autism spectrum meet, one was set up by the autistic trust uk and another had a mixture of other people with other conditions. Even though I went to them, I still felt like I didn't fit or want to be there, I felt like the only one who was mildly autistic and the rest were a bit more severe than me, non verbal and so on.

I've always aspired to be to meet others like me who may not be autistic and I don't know if that is going to be difficult. It just feels like the only places you'd find other non autistic people younger or the same age as me, are going to be at the pubs, bars and so on, which I barely go to except occasionally with family and not on my own.

People have said you need to find others who have similar interests to you but even that feels hard.


I hear you. Back in the day, I attended a few autism support groups that I did not fit in with.

1.At the time, I didn't really want to have anything to do with being autistic but wanted to give it a shot. Other than the wonderful director of the group, I could not connect with anyone because they all had higher support needs.

2. I had attended a second adult support group where all of us were lower support needs. While it was fun in the beginning, most of those people had low tolerance for my loud talking and hyperactivity. They also were not interested in doing anything outside of the meetings. Whenever I would make suggestions, thee was always some excuse.



Mona Pereth
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20 Jun 2025, 6:02 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
2. I had attended a second adult support group where all of us were lower support needs. While it was fun in the beginning, most of those people had low tolerance for my loud talking and hyperactivity. They also were not interested in doing anything outside of the meetings. Whenever I would make suggestions, thee was always some excuse.

Did you ever suggest to the leaders, or to anyone else, that they invite the entire group out to dinner at some local diner immediately after the meeting?


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scph1001
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Yesterday, 8:57 pm

oh god i feel the exact same as this title. last year was tumultuous for me (part cause i was unmedicated for all of it) but it really laid bare that whatever stat pull i got regarding my i think obvious case of autism is wildly different than every other f*****g autistic person i know. it only gets more obvious and painful whenever i butt heads with other people who have it-i don't even call myself neurodivergent anymore cause of how isolated i've felt for ever because of this.

i hear you, in other words.



Mona Pereth
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Yesterday, 9:08 pm

scph1001 wrote:
my i think obvious case of autism is wildly different than every other f*****g autistic person i know.

We are all different. As the saying goes: If you've met one autistic person, you've met one autistic person.

I hope you feel welcome here on Wrong Planet.


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Jakki
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Yesterday, 11:20 pm

Went to autism support group .. I got to introduce myself at each meeting but after that never got engaged by anyone
in conversation. After 4 meeting , the group slowly went to online and facebook only . It was depressing to me .
But I seemed to have learned even Aspies can be clickish too, It seems . So I do not worry so much about others interactions, just so they can get to be content,with their own lives.


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