I don't fit in with social groups for others with autism

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I've been to a couple of places in which others on the autism spectrum meet, one was set up by the autistic trust uk and another had a mixture of other people with other conditions. Even though I went to them, I still felt like I didn't fit or want to be there, I felt like the only one who was mildly autistic and the rest were a bit more severe than me, non verbal and so on.

I've always aspired to be to meet others like me who may not be autistic and I don't know if that is going to be difficult. It just feels like the only places you'd find other non autistic people younger or the same age as me, are going to be at the pubs, bars and so on, which I barely go to except occasionally with family and not on my own.

People have said you need to find others who have similar interests to you but even that feels hard.

I would be looking for food.

oh god i feel the exact same as this title. last year was tumultuous for me (part cause i was unmedicated for all of it) but it really laid bare that whatever stat pull i got regarding my i think obvious case of autism is wildly different than every other f*****g autistic person i know. it only gets more obvious and painful whenever i butt heads with other people who have it-i don't even call myself neurodivergent anymore cause of how isolated i've felt for ever because of this.

i hear you, in other words.

Went to autism support group .. I got to introduce myself at each meeting but after that never got engaged by anyone
in conversation. After 4 meeting , the group slowly went to online and facebook only . It was depressing to me .
But I seemed to have learned even Aspies can be clickish too, It seems . So I do not worry so much about others interactions, just so they can get to be content,with their own lives.

"I'm not saying we should all go. Later maybe you can think of a trip that would interest some of the group."

I think Aspies often find they prefer one-on-one to groups. I certainly do. The social challenges are simpler.

I agree that if the only thing people have got in common is ASD, that's not a great start for cohesion.

I've never been in an ASD group apart from WP, which is rather different to real life in real time. I was only offered one real life group, and I think I just sensed it wouldn't work for me.

I do fit in with music groups, because there's a common interest and music really lends itself to mutual co-operation and connection in a way that's hard to get from anything else. There's been some extra-musical stuff going on in the groups I've been in, but only a fraction of it has worked for me. Take the music away and there hasn't been much left with me, apart from one or two bands I happened to have a lot in common with and one or two I was in duets with which were one-on-one of course.

Any other common purpose can work like music does, but music works best for me. I've occasionally been involved in groups that have had clearly-defined practical purposes, with some success, but it's limited and I haven't done much of it.

I had to smile when I saw the talk here about eating out as a way to improve the bonding. If it floats your boat, good for you, but in my case when a group I'm in starts talking about eating out, I expect to have to choose between opting out and risking an uncomfortable time, with my only consolation being that I'd earn a few brownie points with them by going along and keeping quiet about my complaints, which isn't what I'd call bonding. Sometimes the eating place hasn't been too unsuitable, but mostly it hasn't been.

I'm just not the type for group conversations unless they're well structured so that everybody gets a chance to talk, and even then it's not likely to interest me much.

So I guess I don't fit in with social groups whether we've all got ASD or not. To avoid being a hermit and being stuck with intense loneliness I've mitigated the situation by using music as a social glue, and by only involving myself with the smallest number of members possible, especially if it's not a music group. I also prefer to stick to people I know and like fairly well, though obviously every person I know and like was once new to me.