Why Do People Refuse To Practice Social Skills?

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That fair as an additional consideration. Improving one's social skills doesn't mean one will suddenly enjoy socializing a lot more, but it does mean one can navigate social situations easier. If one can get through them more easily/less awkwardly, it should reduce how draining they are, although they may continue to be relatively unfulfilling and that's fine.

How exactly are you measuring intelligence when making this conclusion?

It's based on being accepted more by the high IQ community. May 2009 - March 2020 abt 58 FB friends. Mar 2020 Get involved with FB high IQ community = over 6x that amount of friends.

It would make sense that high IQ individuals are better able to relate to other high IQ individuals.

I'm not sure that means social skills are less valued by high IQ individuals though.

The highly educated also like to talk to others with a similar educational background.
They like being able to express thoughts without worry that the other personal lacks the knowledge to understand what they are saying.

Engineers especially run into the issue about knowing a lot about stuff that the average person won't understand.

The high IQ people are rather few. The majority of people have an average IQ. High IQ people, especially if they don't have a job where the coworkers usually have an high IQ, enjoy the opportunity to socialize with an other high IQ person.

The Alien likes socialising so she helps me to do it because I shy away by myself

It's quite fun a lot of the time because you get to find out more about people and you get to find out more about yourself and what you're strengths and weaknesses are and the more you do it the more you get comfortable with it

It's possible to value something without regarding it as a stand alone reason for a person not being worthy enough to know.

By modern standards I have a low level of academic qualifications.

Me too, but apparently I've got a knack for IQ tests.

What is motivating me now to get better social skills is dating.

I don't know why anybody actively rejects learning social skills. It's kind of like calling more "successful" black people "uncle tom" or "acting white". I wonder if there is an element of that to it for some people on the spectrum.

I wouldn't say I have a knack,but I do reasonably well at high range IQ tests. Unfortunately it's accompanied by absolutely crap executive functioning.

Same. It's like having a powerful engine, but the differential is made of zamac and the tires are off a Prius.

I think it's because its a deeply uncomfortable experience where repeatedly failing is almost guaranteed and success depends on external factors over which you have no control

It's frightening and the ego doesn't like that sort of vulnerability.

I haven't tried socialising, to try and improve such skills since my last typically disastrous attempt back in 2018. I had great difficulty being proactive, but did reply to other people's comments to the best of my ability. The others got on fine with each other,but my responses fell on deaf ears. I then had the p taken out of me by the self labelled 'radical social worker' running the group.

I've not been outside on my own since just before the falls and broken femur in October 2021. I can only walk short distances indoors without use of a rollator. When I do I walk like Frankenstein in an old horror movie, and pain kicks in quickly. Not that my balance,coordination, and gait, was much good before the falls. Hence my chance of socialising,even if I wanted to, is a big fat zero.

My social skills improves as my executive function does.
Yet practicing social skills itself doesn't lead into improving neither social skills nor EF.


It's kinda how I am with verbal processing; I can obsessively enjoy reading and writing, talk and listen all day long, with feedbacks and such; but no improvement unless something subtle within me is working.

Don't know what it is. It's not necessarily merely mood and regulation, but more like internal processing that I've yet to reach.


Regardless, I do not shy away from "practicing social skills". Yet it's moot point to do if I'm not in a mood to, or randomly results outcomes all because I may forget what I can and cannot do every time I wake up and wouldn't know until it happens.