Any ways to deal with rudeness?

Post Reply New Topic

I say the wrong thing over and over (I mention todays issues in a topic I made about saying the wrong thing) but I was thinking what can we do about it? Mom says I need to change etc. She said I need to start thinking I said I don't etc. and she got mad. Example I don't think to pick up around the house I just do the basics and that's that. She hates if I do this since this means more work for her when she gets home but I just don't THINK to pick up that sock/do a small load of clothes (when I just did clothes yesterday!) This is the ONE Aspie trait I HATE! Any tips on dealing with it?

For housework and homework alike, I develop lists that I check off when I get done. If I have to, I'll use timers to remind myself to stop doing one thing and start on something else so I am not wasting too much time (unless it needs to get done). I hope I helped.

Hmm. Sock dropping and strewn, clothing, tops off drink bottles, man traps waiting to fall out of cupboards when badly stacked stuff falls out all over you, bath not emptied etc. "Well lemme tell you when you've been out to work all day..."- no, from experience this approach doesn't work. The best thing I found was to have an intense cleaning day in their bedrooms when they were in them.Seriously, I bought a steam cleaner for the carpets and we vacuumed everything out, tidied things away, chucked out bin liners of broken things, found lost games CDs etc.

Because you are doing this your kids get interested and start doing stuff with you.This then extends to the rest of the house and they get a better idea of the baseline of minimum domestic cleanliness not to die of food poisoning or live in a chaotic tip. You can get them from that point to do stuff like occasionally clean the bath.

Now they are older it is most clear they can do this stuff because when their girlfriend visit, they start hassling me to clean up. I can leave stuff all over to annoy my kids now if I so wish, and
I get the same arguments back at me I gave them when they were growing up if I do, I do it occasional at a key stress point to remind them of what it was like living with untidy, food plate penicillin propagating teenagers. It's in very good humor though.

I'm not sure I'd call this an aspie trait either. I'm not saying it can't be, but it sounds like the age old parent-child 'clean up after yourself' diatribe.

I found leaving home, having personal space and realising exactly how much of the mess was mine and how little I liked the mess cured me of this.

A more immediately useful suggestion might to be to take 100% responsibility for something -- make it a bit personal. Own a zone of responsibility. Tell her she never needs to wash a dish again, as long as you're in the house. Something like that. When it's clear who's responsible for what, then it becomes a bit easier.

Maybe a list will help you clean up after yourself?

I have a to-do list of things I have to get done in a day.
I'm usually a clean person and I'm usually cleaning up after my mum.

I find this thread ironic. People are saying here it's not an aspie thing but I have seen threads in the past about not knowing they are supposed to clean up after themselves such as bringing down the dirty dishes. Those aspies were saying how they just don't notice. Or was that in the random discussion?

I think it can be an AS thing because we need to be told quite clearly to do these things. I remember when I got yelled at for not throwing my rubbish in the bin, so now I just do it. Not so I won't get yelled at. I just know it's the right thing to do and I'm much much more cleaner these days.

be rude back