Dealing with Poverty and its implications

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crystalc1973
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02 Oct 2014, 4:54 pm

Has your disorder more or less landed you in a state of poverty and you find yourself confronted with issues you cannot afford and see no way out of? I didn't work for years, stayed home with my kids, got divorced and kicked to the curb by my ex and only make about $40 every week now. My husband never got to go to school and does his best, making and selling sandals but it's not too reliable, we are living off of the last bit of money of a trust fund, but that will be done shortly. We live in Jamaica where it is very poor and there is no work, or the work there is pays almost nothing, yet dentistry is expensive just the same. I received bad news from my dentist today about the sorry state of repairs my teeth are in, not only do I need a root canal and it will be expensive, but we have to drive 3 and a half hours out of town to another city to get it done! I have numerous other teeth that need filling but I may be able to get them done at a free clinic which is coming to town, however they don't do root canals. There is no way I am getting teeth pulled out, I would feel like a freak and have to eat mush since it is a big molar that I need for chewing. My mouth is a mess simply because of bad genes, I take care of my teeth. The final insult was some little hustler guy trying to sell me a tacky necklace and then dissing me because I would only offer him change for it.....let's just say I lost it with this dude and schooled him how not all white people are rich tourists! I feel like a loser because I can't even afford to fix my teeth, but I don't have the ability to earn big money and get a good job because of AS and because I have practically no work experience. Sometimes I can overlook that we live in poverty and lack basic things, but times like this I just get frustrated and feel like I am doomed. Does anyone else find themselves in situations similar to this, where they feel hopeless and totally alone?


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redrobin62
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02 Oct 2014, 5:27 pm

I can relate to the poverty because I am homeless. I do have a car to sleep in which is a thousand times better than staying in a shelter.



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02 Oct 2014, 5:47 pm

I know I've compromised on the choice of work I do by choosing it out of need for the solitary nature of it, as I was bullied in conventional work situations.

Plus same issues even earlier, in my education....with the expected result of limited qualifications/skills to do much else. And this work isn't making me a good living, so yes, I only just get by, will never own a home, and there is a direct line of cause and effect from my ASD issues to that.

In case someone reading this wants to say something cruel to me, I'll say that although my above statements could sound like self pity or "blaming" something other than myself, I do not mean them that way, they are just the facts. The difficulties in this disorder can and often do make things harder if insufficient emotional support is there early on to help a person achieve whatever their personal best results might be, and there's no denying that possibility.


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02 Oct 2014, 8:19 pm

Talk with Olive Oil Mom, she is poor and lives in the US Deep South where there are no jobs. She is constantly having to sweet talk creditors etc. Being a small (racial) minority in your country likely means a lot of discrimination so that you immediately get turned away from what work there is. Also, there are several WP members who are homeless. If it wasn't for my mom having retired from a good paying government job I probably would be homeless too. She is old now and I plan to buy some land where I can grow my own food so I'm not blindsided when she dies.



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02 Oct 2014, 8:27 pm

The main reason that I'm not trapped in poverty is my husband; if he ever throws me out I'm gonna be totally screwed. I'm TERRIFIED. The only workable plan I have looks a lot like Pezar's. Get ahold of some land (I have that) where I can grow food, try to keep on good enough terms with the family I have left that they will help me deal with the things I just can't fathom (say someone decides to harass me, or I have to fight the school system or fight for some degree of custody of my kids), and hope I'm able to hold it together.

At least having grown up in West Virginia coal country, which my husband swears is a Third World country, I have experience in How To Be Poor.

I have no idea of how to help you. It would be asinine to say, "Consider the blessings of your situation." That's a really sh***y thing to say to someone in trouble...

...but in some ways it's true. Poverty sucks. But you are at least in a place where almost everyone is in the same basic situation; it is the way things are, it is commonly understandable. In the US, it seems like everyone around you is quite affluent, and poverty has all the same problems that it does in Jamaica, plus being a sin before God and very nearly a crime.


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pezar
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02 Oct 2014, 8:52 pm

BuyerBeware wrote:
The main reason that I'm not trapped in poverty is my husband; if he ever throws me out I'm gonna be totally screwed. I'm TERRIFIED. The only workable plan I have looks a lot like Pezar's. Get ahold of some land (I have that) where I can grow food, try to keep on good enough terms with the family I have left that they will help me deal with the things I just can't fathom (say someone decides to harass me, or I have to fight the school system or fight for some degree of custody of my kids), and hope I'm able to hold it together.

At least having grown up in West Virginia coal country, which my husband swears is a Third World country, I have experience in How To Be Poor.

I have no idea of how to help you. It would be asinine to say, "Consider the blessings of your situation." That's a really sh***y thing to say to someone in trouble...

...but in some ways it's true. Poverty sucks. But you are at least in a place where almost everyone is in the same basic situation; it is the way things are, it is commonly understandable. In the US, it seems like everyone around you is quite affluent, and poverty has all the same problems that it does in Jamaica, plus being a sin before God and very nearly a crime.


The town where I'm planning to buy land (well, not IN town, about 50 miles outside of it) is very poor and everybody is either broke, on dope, or both. The main employers are a hospital (which has horrendous turnover because the staff gets burnout from treating endless numbers of OD's), the local school district, and a window manufacturer which has its roots in a sawmill. The town was heavily forested and sawmills ran from about 1905 to 1985, then closed due to new laws and deforestation. The only remaining company that has its roots in the forestry industry is the window maker. I'm afraid that's the best I'll be able to do; being poor in the US is looked down upon in most areas, unless everybody around you is poor too.



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02 Oct 2014, 9:19 pm

crystalc1973 wrote:
Has your disorder more or less landed you in a state of poverty

I'm not sure...mainly it's my migraines and exhaustion from being out and about that keep me from being able to work. I'm sure my eccentricity would keep me from getting hired at all.

Quote:
and you find yourself confronted with issues you cannot afford and see no way out of?

Yes and no. There's no way in hell I'll be able to ever pay off my student loans, but I don't care. I don't own anything for them to take and have no wages for them to garnish, and I don't want to ever have either.

Even though I was kicked out of the military, I have a bit of benefits that will put a roof over my head, and then there is SSI that I'm still hoping for. If that pans out, I hope to move out to the forest and live the good poor life. Poverty is only a problem when one is trying/forced to live a middle class lifestyle. I'm happy to live in a tent, transport myself about on a bicycle and buses, and stay entertained with public library services. Thanks to farmer's markets, I eat like royalty on food stamps. So I don't feel hopeless.

How reliable is your Internet access? What skills do you have, and have you tried working online?



crystalc1973
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02 Oct 2014, 9:30 pm

In Jamaica, you are looked down on for being poor too....if you are not Jamaican. They think we get paid for just breathing air or something here, people live in ignorance and don't realize that people are poor in first world countries too. So I am kind of disrespected because I am a poor white woman, whom they expect to be rich. In reply to your question, starkid, I have internet access that is reasonable, and actually I do work online now doing freelance writing but the pay is abysmal. The average person here only makes about $50 US per week and they have to put up with tons of verbal abuse in the workplace as their rights are not protected here. It's hard for me as someone who was married to a tyrant for years and hid away behind him, the result is practically zero marketable skills. Not liking the prospect of having to leave here, although Jamaica pretty much sucks, my husband is here, to go back to working in the massage parlours of Toronto....shameful as it sounds, it's the only place I could ever earn any money sadly with my skill set and disability.


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02 Oct 2014, 9:32 pm

I am not sure my financial situation is as bad as yours but its certainly not very good...I get 721 dollars a month from government assistance for disability and I pay 300 of that to my mom for rent, if i was not living here I'd probably be homeless till such time as I could find people to split rent with. I do however have medicaid which covers some dental stuff but probably not serious procedures like root canals and what not, it does help other medical costs for the most part. But yeah I still find it hard to afford things, and sometimes I am not always great at budgeting. Though trying to work on various ways to save on costs but that can be easier said than done.

But yeah there certainly is stigma towards the poor here.....but yeah not sure what the costs of living are where you live, they may or may not be higher here.


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03 Oct 2014, 11:55 am

If the Canadian gov't will give you disability, it might be worth coming back.

Otherwise, sadly and sorrily, you might be better off in poverty in Jamaica than in poverty and possibly prostitution in Toronto. I don't think there's any place in the world where being poor, the wrong color, or both doesn't make for a miserable life. I guess that would be the one upside of Toronto-- at least you wouldn't be on the wrong side of the color line there.

Talk to vickyglietz. She's working on an autistic intentional community. You two might be able to work something out.


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crystalc1973
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03 Oct 2014, 2:17 pm

BuyerBeware - yes, actually I am trying to find out about disability benefits, the fact that I also suffer from bouts of anxiety and depression may also increase my chances of getting it, it seems. I was actually making decent money working in the sex trade, more than any other job I would be able to get, in some ways I do miss those finances, especially now with my teeth costing me a fortune. I also discovered that there is some free dentistry available through public health in Toronto and I know a dentist there who works "under the table" for cheap as well, I may have to go there just to get my teeth fixed. In Jamaica there are virtually no job prospects for someone in my shoes whatsoever other than my crappy online job. I am going back to university in Canada, and will be applying for loans, but that's not until next September.


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mattschwartz01
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03 Oct 2014, 2:24 pm

redrobin62 wrote:
I can relate to the poverty because I am homeless. I do have a car to sleep in which is a thousand times better than staying in a shelter.


My heart really goes out to you, dude. I wish you the best and hope things get better for you.



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03 Oct 2014, 4:56 pm

redrobin62 wrote:
I can relate to the poverty because I am homeless. I do have a car to sleep in which is a thousand times better than staying in a shelter.


Really? How do you keep the NT pigs (cops) off your back?



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03 Oct 2014, 5:16 pm

crystalc1973 wrote:
BuyerBeware - yes, actually I am trying to find out about disability benefits, the fact that I also suffer from bouts of anxiety and depression may also increase my chances of getting it, it seems. I was actually making decent money working in the sex trade, more than any other job I would be able to get, in some ways I do miss those finances, especially now with my teeth costing me a fortune. I also discovered that there is some free dentistry available through public health in Toronto and I know a dentist there who works "under the table" for cheap as well, I may have to go there just to get my teeth fixed. In Jamaica there are virtually no job prospects for someone in my shoes whatsoever other than my crappy online job. I am going back to university in Canada, and will be applying for loans, but that's not until next September.


Mein gott! Whatever made you want to live in jamaica? I would say you are quite blessed not already having been sexually assaulted in some form. Third World nations and their people being what they are.

Anyways. Here is my advice...go back to canada pronto. Look I to creating your own website or if you cannot afford that there are websites such as eros that are great. No. It's not sex work. You are a courtesan, and as such are highly prized for your empathy as those in that profession must be. Keep it classy and keep it around 400 per hour or even 500. That will weed out the thugs and losers. Eventually, you will develop a relationship with a wealthier, kinder man who can be your benefactor. A doctor or small business owner. Forget the lawyers and corporate sociopaths. Eventually you will make enough money not only for your teeth but also for college if you budget wisely.

And always remember you are loved. :)



crystalc1973
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03 Oct 2014, 5:56 pm

JackBruns- Actually I am married and live here with my husband, so no, I haven't been sexually assaulted. People here are just kind of rude and pushy, but nobody has messed with me. That's why I came here to be with my husband. Also I am looking for something along the lines of what you described, but it's not always easy to get those kinds of prices, although good when you can get it. Looking into doing the domination thing too, since that's more my style anyhow, and there's a real demand for it too apparently...lots of guys want to get beaten surprisingly.


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JackBruns
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03 Oct 2014, 7:17 pm

crystalc1973 wrote:
JackBruns- Actually I am married and live here with my husband, so no, I haven't been sexually assaulted. People here are just kind of rude and pushy, but nobody has messed with me. That's why I came here to be with my husband. Also I am looking for something along the lines of what you described, but it's not always easy to get those kinds of prices, although good when you can get it. Looking into doing the domination thing too, since that's more my style anyhow, and there's a real demand for it too apparently...lots of guys want to get beaten surprisingly.


That's good. Still though. It might be best to cut your losses and take off. Unless you want to be stuck in poverty the rest of your life...divorce might be the best option. Or separation. If I was in your spot, I would just take off. Why risk him losing his sh*t and the possibility of domestic violence.

I'm not sure what the nearest match would be in terms of location as I'm not canadian. But here in the sf bay area there are alot of wealthy men on the autistic side. The silicon valley. You would set up shop in that type of area and start sending out feelers via the Web or even late night coffee shops where high functioning autistics hang out. You'll find someone you can dominate as autists generally aren't aren't aggressive as the neurotypicals are.