Should my brother go off his medication in this case?

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I wasn't sure what forum to post this in, but my brother has had extreme problems with his autism lately and has gone to a therapist and has gone on medication for it. I talked about his problems before on this previous thread:

viewtopic.php?t=298293

So basically my bro was having a lot of problems with women as well and he would start going to places, which me and my parents were not sure. We thought maybe he as going to see prostitutes or something like that cause of his trouble, so my parents will sometimes not let him have the car.

So my parents made him go see a therapist and the therapist put him on medication. Basically he was feeling super depressed and shameful cause of women always rejecting him and his involuntary celibacy over the years, making him feel inadequate.

So after about a year of going on the medication, it has completely changed him around, but in a bad way. He has become extremely hostile towards women. If they reject him, he will be turn into a complete bully and be rude towards them, insulting them with the most fowl, and misogynistic language and attitude, I have ever heard from him. I have never seen him talk or behave this way before, to women or to anyone for that matter! He use to be such a nice person, but he has turned into a completely misogynistic, narcissistic ass$##%, towards the opposite sex, and I don't know what to do about it.

I mean I think it's the medication but my parents do not think so and are not relating it to that. But it seems like it makes sense that it is, since he started taking it about a year ago, and now he is transformed into this person, who is almost a monster, if not one already. I had a talk with him about.

He said that before he was super depressed to the point where he didn't even want to talk to anyone, which is true... and now that all that shame has now been replaced with pride. But it's a narcissistic pride. He says that be being this way towards women he is exercising his divine right, not to be treated as inferior compared to others, and will not turn the other cheek for any more rejection cause of his autism.

He has turned into sort of a Malcolm X type when it comes to autism, but perhaps even more extreme in attitude. Maybe that's good, and it's what we in the autistic community need (I'm autistic as well), or maybe it's bad. Maybe having a misogynistic pride, is better than feeling shame, if the opposite sex has treated you bad, like he says in his case...

But nevertheless, he is still doing better than he was before, since he can actually function now, where as before he couldn't near as much cause he was so full of shame and depression.


What do you think?

I would NOT recommend going off his meds cold turkey. Sit down with the psychiatrist or whatever doctor prescribed the meds, discuss your concerns, and have them draw up a plan to titrate off this med. if the doctor refuses to do so, get a second or third opinion.

How is his success with women now?

His success hasn't changed at all, hence why he takes out his anger on them so harshly, when they reject him.

I wouldn't equate it with the medication, there could be other factors in play and it is important to keep in mind that correlation does not always equal causation- There could be other factors at work. for example: does he speak to other guys, in real life or online, who have similar experiences/viewpoints?

If so, one explanation could be that his views are becoming more extreme due to a sort of echo-chamber effect which sees a groups view points become more and more severe as they are not challenged or appraised thoroughly. Similar to factions of extreme vegans, the "alt-right" and other groups. It's a common thing I have noticed that groups exaggerate their common elements as a point of bonding/consolidation of their identity.

I would never recommend anyone go off their medication or make any changes without a doctor's say-so.

That said, if his issues aren't resolved (or are made worse) by the medication, then that needs to be discussed with the doctor as well. Medication alone won't solve many issues, ASD related or not, so the whole picture including some type of talk therapy needs to be reviewed by the doc(s) in question.

And finally, if the doc isn't willing to change the modality of treatment which is obviously not working, then you should find another one.

From the little you told of your brother, his case screams antidepressant agitation. It is a known and very deadly side affect of SSRIs. Bacially, some people become agitated and aggressive on these medications. Some people do get bad enough that they hurt themselves or others because of the SSRIs. It's really important for him to work with his shrink though. The above posters are correct. If he goes off it cold turkey, he could also have a bad reaction.

Unfortunately, you are in the position were you have to make a judgement call. If you think your brother is getting close to hurting himself or any of these women that he is hating, it's your ethical responsibility to tell someone who can help. Calling his shrink will usually do it, as they are trained to deal with this kind of thing.

I experienced this when I was a teen-ager. I did not respond well to prozac and my family kept increasing the dose. By the time I took myself off it (not recommended) I was extremely agitated, pulling out all of my own hair, and bullying a classmate, which is something I wouldn't have done in a million years without the anti-depressant. There is a black box warning lable on anti-depressants now, warning people of just this problem.

Is it possible that these are his real feelings. He's politically-incorrect, and you're treating that with drugs.

Okay thanks. I talked about it with my parents, that they do not believe that his political correctness, has anything to do with the medication. But he didn't become this way with woman at all, until after he went on the medication. So it seems that it's very likely the medication that is causing him to be this way, since he didn't become this way till after he started taking it.

And you know maybe he does deserve to exercise how he feels, if women are not giving him a fair shake. However, the way he talks to them, he may say the wrong thing, and all it will take is an angry bf or male friend, who cannot tolerate their women being called vile sexist language, and may end up punching my bro in the mouth or something. I am worried.

My bro said that that insulting a woman is not a crime that is going to get him into any trouble since the police do not do anything about people being rude, but the police will do something if he is assaulted, so anyone who assaults him is looking at a criminal record, so they will be the loser in that situation, he said. That is true, but still wants to end up agitating the wrong person into a fight?

Well I think it's the medication likely since he started acting this way, after he went on it.

Women may not have or want male friends, and may assault a misogynist, personally.

I notice that the only thing you think is wrong with his "exersicing his right to express how he feels" is that he may get beaten up. No thought to the women and their feelings. No thought on their being assulted or humilated.

I don't see where the OP turned into a rapist. That seems a little out there. But yes, this whole family is a tragedy waiting to happen.

I wonder how much of a fair shake women need to give your brother before they deserve basic human respect? Are they to say hello when they see him? Smile sweetly no matter what he says to them? Maybe they are required to date him, even if they aren't into him? Maybe they should have sex with him? Even if they don't want to and the thought disgusts them? Would that make them worthy of basic human respect? Perhaps they should keep their eyes lowered in his presense?

You see, there's a real problem on wrongplanet. We have a fair number of men who are misogynists and expect that women are somehow obligated to date and/or screw them, and if they don't that means that women are "discriminating" against them. The problem with this is that both women and the law disagree. Women do not owe these men anything, no matter how much they pump each other up online. Just saying that it's OK on the internet is not going to protect your brother or anyone from the legal and social ramifications of harrassement and verbal assult.

Of course I am concerned about the women! I said in my OP that I am concerned about how he is responding to them and how he is treating them. What I meant was, I was concerned for them too.

I just made the thread about my bro, since the source of the insulting language, is coming from him, so I wanted to see if I could do anything to help the source, of the problem, which lies in him. That's all.

But then I am told things like this:

No, I do not think his medication caused this. Medication cannot cause prejudice towards a particular group of people. That's like asking if antidepressants can make you racist - no, they absolutely cannot. The underlying emotions have to be there way before the medication is started, the way the medication affects brain chemistry (makes the person more confident/open and numbs emotional pain) can just cause those feelings to come to the surface rather than be actively suppressed.

I actually went through a phase of rage/fury after I started my antidepressants many years ago, but I know now it was just bottled emotions from years of being depressed. Over time, the antidepressants completely changed my life and I was able to deal with all of my underlying issues (your brother may need therapy to help with this). But it took years to get those emotions out of my system and learn how to deal with them healthily.

I would consider his anger to be a non-permanent kind of "bubbling to the surface" of unresolved feelings. It could even be good for him sometimes to get angry and sit with those emotions so he can learn how to deal with them constructively.

Stopping the medication will not do him good... you already said he is improving. Give it time, and therapy if you are concerned about misconduct, but I absolutely believe he will only continue to get better so long as you give the medication time to do its work.



Also, OP, no offence but if his parents and his doctor all think medication is the best thing for him, you should not be trying to convince anyone otherwise. You also should speak to medical professionals about it and trust their opinion over your own. There are many other explanations for his behaviour, and if you were to tell him to stop his medication it could be devastating for him, not to mention highly unethical. I think you should probably be careful what you say to him about it, but I understand you're just asking because you care.