assumptions people make about me

Post Reply New Topic

That is horrible that you had to endure that. Too bad for the horse as he bonded to you. Animals thrive on love with affection from people like us that are patient.

☺

SkiBum....to top it all off...these were the people who were there to 'help' you. Did anybody recognize the irony in any of that?

That was horrible. They should be glad I wasn't there. When something like that hits me, I get real defensive and it just comes out.

"Why are you talking to me like that?"
"Like what?"
"You talked to me like an adult with no issues....now you talk to me like I changed in one instant."
"No I'm not..."
"Yes, you are. I am not stupid."
"No need to get upset. We know it's your 'disability'."
"WTF?!?!?!"

I've actually had that happen so, that was not hyperbole.

I know the tone. It goes from friendly to being managed. It's insulting and demeaning.

But, it is a b***h to be that way. I cannot tell you how many times I've been at a place working and people come up to me to ask directions or information or guidance.

One customer walked into a place I worked (service bureau for digital output), right past the boss and then straight to me and addressed me as the owner and such. Pissed him off but good. Especially since I am a jeans and flannel shirt kinda guy. I'm a lumberjack I am, I am....But, the boss was always in the imported suits.

Reading through this and thinking about my biggest problem is that I have no idea what other people think and I never have. I do know that other people do not think like I do so I can assume nothing.

I got tired of being misinterpreted long ago and don’t show much of my own feelings to people anymore. I try to deal with others in a logical reasonable way and speak my though process out loud so that the other person knows what I’m doing and why. I don’t let anyone inside my head for long and I try to deal with my emotions internally. I find this creates less conflict between me and the world.

It really was tragic. That horse was there for me during my uncle's passing from ALS. The day my uncle died I was with that horse. Actually the exact time that he died, the horse was in a lesson with a student riding him and I was watching from behind the arena half wall. As the horse passed me he, just for a moment, broke gait and slowed down and gave me one of those magnificent deep souled looks right in my eyes that horses are so wonderful at giving. You can't even imagine the love he sent me at that moment. It was amazing. And when I would show up at the place, he would perk up and watch me walk in from the parking lot and get all excited. And in between his classes we would stand together and lean on each other and just have silent bonding time. I know we both really miss each other terribly. It's such a shame how insensitive people who claim to be horse people and there to help the disabled can miss that sort of thing and create a situation that forces these kinds of bonds to be severed.

I'm all over the place. I have the emotional maturity of a twelve year old, but the intellectual and knowledgeable maturity of someone much older. There are many things I am amazing at, but equally as many things that I struggle with. It's hard to find a balance.

^That's odd. I've been hurt plenty of times, but I'm still emotionally raw and childish.

^Aww. Hugs for you, too.

I've come to realize that I hide my feelings so that people won't worry about me, but mainly when it comes to my depression cycles and school issues. Everything else comes out often instantaneously.