Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

How do I make this happen?

Page 1 of 1 [ 10 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

xxZeromancerlovexx
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,915
Location: In my imagination

27 Sep 2021, 1:00 pm

The idea of traditional romance has always made me cringe. This includes marriage, formal dates, getting roses on Valentine’s Day and sleeping in the same bed.

I rarely get along with women. Due to how I wear my hair, dress and do my makeup a shallow female friend would nominate me for Queer Eye or another makeover show in a heartbeat. I’ve always preferred being around males who like video games and don’t shower me with affection.

Note: I’m not attracted to women.

Tl;dr:

I want a relationship with a guy but sometimes I feel so disgusted by formal dates and excessive kissing, I feel more like I want a cool male cousin or a twin brother from another mother. A guy I can play video games with, go to the arcade with or just watch a movie and eat pizza.


_________________
“There’s a lesson that we learn
In the pages that we burn
It’s written in the ashes of the fire below”
-Down, The Birthday Massacre


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,939
Location:      

27 Sep 2021, 1:04 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
How do I make this happen?

[...]

I want a relationship with a guy but sometimes I feel so disgusted by formal dates and excessive kissing, I feel more like I want a cool male cousin or a twin brother from another mother.  A guy I can play video games with, go to the arcade with or just watch a movie and eat pizza.
Relationships cannot be "made" to happen; they just happen.

All you can do is make yourself attractive to the kind of person you want to attract, put yourself in places where such people gather, and hope for the best.



funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,511
Location: Right over your left shoulder

27 Sep 2021, 1:11 pm

You have to have people who you relate to like that if your life if you want to have a relationship like that.


_________________
The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. —Malcolm X
Just a reminder: under international law, an occupying power has no right of self-defense, and those who are occupied have the right and duty to liberate themselves by any means possible.


babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 88,948
Location: UK

27 Sep 2021, 1:13 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
The idea of traditional romance has always made me cringe. This includes marriage, formal dates, getting roses on Valentine’s Day and sleeping in the same bed.

I rarely get along with women. Due to how I wear my hair, dress and do my makeup a shallow female friend would nominate me for Queer Eye or another makeover show in a heartbeat. I’ve always preferred being around males who like video games and don’t shower me with affection.

Note: I’m not attracted to women.

Tl;dr:

I want a relationship with a guy but sometimes I feel so disgusted by formal dates and excessive kissing, I feel more like I want a cool male cousin or a twin brother from another mother. A guy I can play video games with, go to the arcade with or just watch a movie and eat pizza.


When I was younger there was no shortage of guys who would be up for something like what you want.


_________________
We have existence


xxZeromancerlovexx
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,915
Location: In my imagination

27 Sep 2021, 1:28 pm

Fnord wrote:
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
How do I make this happen?

[...]

I want a relationship with a guy but sometimes I feel so disgusted by formal dates and excessive kissing, I feel more like I want a cool male cousin or a twin brother from another mother.  A guy I can play video games with, go to the arcade with or just watch a movie and eat pizza.
Relationships cannot be "made" to happen; they just happen.

All you can do is make yourself attractive to the kind of person you want to attract, put yourself in places where such people gather, and hope for the best.


I tend to dress feminine and maybe if I dressed more tomboyish and wore shirts with cool logos, I could meet the kind of guy I want. It would be like advertising.


_________________
“There’s a lesson that we learn
In the pages that we burn
It’s written in the ashes of the fire below”
-Down, The Birthday Massacre


funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,511
Location: Right over your left shoulder

27 Sep 2021, 1:31 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
Fnord wrote:
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
How do I make this happen?

[...]

I want a relationship with a guy but sometimes I feel so disgusted by formal dates and excessive kissing, I feel more like I want a cool male cousin or a twin brother from another mother.  A guy I can play video games with, go to the arcade with or just watch a movie and eat pizza.
Relationships cannot be "made" to happen; they just happen.

All you can do is make yourself attractive to the kind of person you want to attract, put yourself in places where such people gather, and hope for the best.


I tend to dress feminine and maybe if I dressed more tomboyish and wore shirts with cool logos, I could meet the kind of guy I want. It would be like advertising.


I don't think there's anything about how you dress that might be holding this back.

Do you meet lots of people? Do you meet and know people of the type you're interested in?


_________________
The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. —Malcolm X
Just a reminder: under international law, an occupying power has no right of self-defense, and those who are occupied have the right and duty to liberate themselves by any means possible.


xxZeromancerlovexx
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,915
Location: In my imagination

27 Sep 2021, 1:39 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
Fnord wrote:
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
How do I make this happen?

[...]

I want a relationship with a guy but sometimes I feel so disgusted by formal dates and excessive kissing, I feel more like I want a cool male cousin or a twin brother from another mother.  A guy I can play video games with, go to the arcade with or just watch a movie and eat pizza.
Relationships cannot be "made" to happen; they just happen.

All you can do is make yourself attractive to the kind of person you want to attract, put yourself in places where such people gather, and hope for the best.


I tend to dress feminine and maybe if I dressed more tomboyish and wore shirts with cool logos, I could meet the kind of guy I want. It would be like advertising.


I don't think there's anything about how you dress that might be holding this back.

Do you meet lots of people? Do you meet and know people of the type you're interested in?


To be honest, I live with my Mom and stepdad in the woods. I plan on moving to a larger city eventually but due to Covid numbers it’s not a good idea right now.


_________________
“There’s a lesson that we learn
In the pages that we burn
It’s written in the ashes of the fire below”
-Down, The Birthday Massacre


funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,511
Location: Right over your left shoulder

27 Sep 2021, 1:43 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
To be honest, I live with my Mom and stepdad in the woods. I plan on moving to a larger city eventually but due to Covid numbers it’s not a good idea right now.


I'm in a similar boat. For what it's worth I'd hang out with you if you were within driving distance. :nerdy:


_________________
The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. —Malcolm X
Just a reminder: under international law, an occupying power has no right of self-defense, and those who are occupied have the right and duty to liberate themselves by any means possible.


nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,180
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

30 Sep 2021, 12:17 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
The idea of traditional romance has always made me cringe. This includes marriage, formal dates, getting roses on VI want a relationship with a guy but sometimes I feel so disgusted by formal dates and excessive kissing, I feel more like I want a cool male cousin or a twin brother from another mother. A guy I can play video games with, go to the arcade with or just watch a movie and eat pizza.
It sounds like you just want a male friend to hang out with sometimes instead of a boyfriend or other romantic or sexual thing. Maybe you could find a way to meet guys who share your interests who are not attracted to you in a romantic sense or sexual way. It seems common for us Aspie guys to get put in the "just friends" category with women & there has been some Aspie women on here who have problems with guys putting them in the "just friends" category as well so it might not be that difficult to find a male friend. You might could also have luck making friends with a tomboyish girl or a girl who does not conform to the female stereotype.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


xxZeromancerlovexx
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,915
Location: In my imagination

05 Oct 2021, 10:51 am

nick007 wrote:
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
The idea of traditional romance has always made me cringe. This includes marriage, formal dates, getting roses on VI want a relationship with a guy but sometimes I feel so disgusted by formal dates and excessive kissing, I feel more like I want a cool male cousin or a twin brother from another mother. A guy I can play video games with, go to the arcade with or just watch a movie and eat pizza.
It sounds like you just want a male friend to hang out with sometimes instead of a boyfriend or other romantic or sexual thing. Maybe you could find a way to meet guys who share your interests who are not attracted to you in a romantic sense or sexual way. It seems common for us Aspie guys to get put in the "just friends" category with women & there has been some Aspie women on here who have problems with guys putting them in the "just friends" category as well so it might not be that difficult to find a male friend. You might could also have luck making friends with a tomboyish girl or a girl who does not conform to the female stereotype.


Guys where I live seem to get a false idea of me. I care about my appearance greatly but not in the sense other girls where I live do.


_________________
“There’s a lesson that we learn
In the pages that we burn
It’s written in the ashes of the fire below”
-Down, The Birthday Massacre