Do you make eye contact to info-dump?

Page 1 of 3 [ 48 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Elgee
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 20 Dec 2021
Gender: Female
Posts: 205
Location: Med West

24 Aug 2022, 9:03 am

I was wondering, for anyone here who struggles with making eye contact, if you use it when you need to get an info-dump fix. Eye contact is really important when you want to get someone's attention and feel them out or size them up. I can't see how anyone would go into info-dump mode without some initial eye contact to get it going. Of course, once the dump gets going, the eye contact diminishes, as it's easier to get deep into one's thoughts if the eye are wandering or on a neutral object. But I'm talking about initially, to get the dump rolling.



Regulan
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 4 Aug 2022
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 37
Location: α Leonis

24 Aug 2022, 10:09 am

I learned to sustain eye contact by the age of 10 training every day in front of the mirror. Mother used to tell me that I needed to look people in their eyes. I do when I must but I often look somewhere else in between ( the brows or the nose) and go back to the eyes. I used also to look at candle lights for a long period without blinking. It soothed me quite a lot and maybe helped with that as well .

When I info dump is usually when I am too comfortable with my few friends and I really don't control that. It comes out naturally, which can be hard for me to notice at the moment, but these 3 people are forgiving and I still struggle not to info dump that much.

I have no idea what I do then. I have never paid attention if I do make eye contact. I don't think it's much.

I am quite anxious because two of these friends are coming to visit me in a few days and I am telling myself that I won't speak about archeoastronomy or deep psychology and what I have discovered that could make Carl Jung' s archetypes actually work and why they don't. :oops:



babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 49,806
Location: UK

24 Aug 2022, 11:47 am

I make good eye contact and am very engaging when I speak to people but I'm not really a one to info dump because I don't have enough info to dump.


_________________
We have existence


Radish
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2022
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,601
Location: UK

24 Aug 2022, 12:06 pm

Even at my age I struggle to figure out how much eye contact to give and if people happen to get me onto a pet subject I inundate them with information until they are reeling or someone gives me a nudge to change the subject. I've not quite got it sussed that when people have a look of terror on their face and are backing away looking for escape routes that I'm info dumping on them.


_________________
This space intentionally left blank.


Elgee
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 20 Dec 2021
Gender: Female
Posts: 205
Location: Med West

24 Aug 2022, 3:02 pm

Regulan wrote:
I learned to sustain eye contact by the age of 10 training every day in front of the mirror. Mother used to tell me that I needed to look people in their eyes. I do when I must but I often look somewhere else in between ( the brows or the nose) and go back to the eyes. I used also to look at candle lights for a long period without blinking. It soothed me quite a lot and maybe helped with that as well .

When I info dump is usually when I am too comfortable with my few friends and I really don't control that. It comes out naturally, which can be hard for me to notice at the moment, but these 3 people are forgiving and I still struggle not to info dump that much.

I have no idea what I do then. I have never paid attention if I do make eye contact. I don't think it's much.

I am quite anxious because two of these friends are coming to visit me in a few days and I am telling myself that I won't speak about archeoastronomy or deep psychology and what I have discovered that could make Carl Jung' s archetypes actually work and why they don't. :oops:


I'd love to hear a good dump on archeoastronomy or deep psychology; though these aren't technically special interests of mine, I'm interested ENOUGH to enjoy a good dump!



Elgee
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 20 Dec 2021
Gender: Female
Posts: 205
Location: Med West

24 Aug 2022, 3:06 pm

Regulan wrote:
I learned to sustain eye contact by the age of 10 training every day in front of the mirror. Mother used to tell me that I needed to look people in their eyes. I do when I must but I often look somewhere else in between ( the brows or the nose) and go back to the eyes. I used also to look at candle lights for a long period without blinking. It soothed me quite a lot and maybe helped with that as well .

When I info dump is usually when I am too comfortable with my few friends and I really don't control that. It comes out naturally, which can be hard for me to notice at the moment, but these 3 people are forgiving and I still struggle not to info dump that much.

I have no idea what I do then. I have never paid attention if I do make eye contact. I don't think it's much.

I am quite anxious because two of these friends are coming to visit me in a few days and I am telling myself that I won't speak about archeoastronomy or deep psychology and what I have discovered that could make Carl Jung' s archetypes actually work and why they don't. :oops:


I'd love to hear a good dump on archeoastronomy or deep psychology; though these aren't technically special interests of mine, I'm interested ENOUGH to enjoy a good dump!



KitLily
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2021
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,529
Location: England

24 Aug 2022, 3:12 pm

I wish people wouldn't take info-dumping as some kind of judgement or something to offend people with. We're just talking and unloading information aren't we. People seem to think we're making a subtle point but we aren't

Be aware though, that 'having a dump' means going to the toilet in Britain. Just in case you visit our deluded island and don't want to say the wrong thing. :wink:


_________________
I am here for interesting, meaningful discussions and thoughtful, rewarding conversations. I very quickly lose interest in long, drawn-out arguments.
***
I'm sorry if I get you mixed up with other people, I'm not good at telling people apart. Just remind me of our last conversation then I'll know who you are.


r00tb33r
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 May 2016
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,471
Location: Virginia

24 Aug 2022, 3:29 pm

I have little to no eye contact. I periodically scan the expression of the person I am speaking with but I look elsewhere as I listen or speak. One of the tricks is to look either past them, just off to the side, or sometimes I focus somewhere beyond them into infinity, so they're out of focus.

But often I find myself needing to look up into the ceiling when describing something I have to find words for.


_________________
Dark humor is 10 children in a dumpster. Morbid humor is a child in 10 dumpsters. :twisted:


Regulan
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 4 Aug 2022
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 37
Location: α Leonis

24 Aug 2022, 3:47 pm

KitLily wrote:
I wish people wouldn't take info-dumping as some kind of judgement or something to offend people with. We're just talking and unloading information aren't we. People seem to think we're making a subtle point but we aren't

Be aware though, that 'having a dump' means going to the toilet in Britain. Just in case you visit our deluded island and don't want to say the wrong thing. :wink:


I still want to go there some day. One more thing I have learned.



Regulan
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 4 Aug 2022
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 37
Location: α Leonis

25 Aug 2022, 1:22 am

Elgee wrote:
Regulan wrote:
I learned to sustain eye contact by the age of 10 training every day in front of the mirror. Mother used to tell me that I needed to look people in their eyes. I do when I must but I often look somewhere else in between ( the brows or the nose) and go back to the eyes. I used also to look at candle lights for a long period without blinking. It soothed me quite a lot and maybe helped with that as well .

When I info dump is usually when I am too comfortable with my few friends and I really don't control that. It comes out naturally, which can be hard for me to notice at the moment, but these 3 people are forgiving and I still struggle not to info dump that much.

I have no idea what I do then. I have never paid attention if I do make eye contact. I don't think it's much.

I am quite anxious because two of these friends are coming to visit me in a few days and I am telling myself that I won't speak about archeoastronomy or deep psychology and what I have discovered that could make Carl Jung' s archetypes actually work and why they don't. :oops:


I'd love to hear a good dump on archeoastronomy or deep psychology; though these aren't technically special interests of mine, I'm interested ENOUGH to enjoy a good dump!


You´re welcome! It must be an interesting thing to sit down with another person who also dumps information. Even if I may know nothing about the subjects of the other person, I would get curious to try to fill in the blanks . It bothers me that many people I knew/know, just talk about silly things.



klanka
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 31 Mar 2022
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,467
Location: Cardiff, Wales

25 Aug 2022, 6:30 am

I knew a couple of people who info dumped. One did it in a one sided fashion (even though it was one of my special interests) I didn't like it as I felt like a sounding board for that person.

I do like to be info dumped on (ooer) if there is a bit of reciprocity. If the other person is listening and responding to what I say.
Most people seem to not want to have those conversations at all.
I used to read in books set in the 1800's where men used to retire to the drawing room specifically to discuss deep topics. Gone are those days.
So its not such aberrant behavior after all.

If someone invited me for a chat about archeoastronomy or whatever that is I would try it out.

I don't think I make much eye contact when I try to regale someone with my fascinating diatribes.



KitLily
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2021
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,529
Location: England

25 Aug 2022, 8:16 am

Regulan wrote:
KitLily wrote:
I wish people wouldn't take info-dumping as some kind of judgement or something to offend people with. We're just talking and unloading information aren't we. People seem to think we're making a subtle point but we aren't

Be aware though, that 'having a dump' means going to the toilet in Britain. Just in case you visit our deluded island and don't want to say the wrong thing. :wink:


I still want to go there some day. One more thing I have learned.


Yes, 'some day' is the better option. Don't come right now, it's a mess.

Any English slang you want to know, just ask me!


_________________
I am here for interesting, meaningful discussions and thoughtful, rewarding conversations. I very quickly lose interest in long, drawn-out arguments.
***
I'm sorry if I get you mixed up with other people, I'm not good at telling people apart. Just remind me of our last conversation then I'll know who you are.


KitLily
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2021
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,529
Location: England

25 Aug 2022, 8:19 am

klanka wrote:
Most people seem to not want to have those conversations at all.
I used to read in books set in the 1800's where men used to retire to the drawing room specifically to discuss deep topics. Gone are those days.


I agree. The art of conversation is dying or dead. I can only have decent conversations with people over about 75 now as they learned how to do so.

Most younger people just lecture me about themselves or go into a monologue, not letting me get a word in. Let alone take turns to talk. 'To me, to you, to me, to you' as the Chuckle Brothers would say :lol:


_________________
I am here for interesting, meaningful discussions and thoughtful, rewarding conversations. I very quickly lose interest in long, drawn-out arguments.
***
I'm sorry if I get you mixed up with other people, I'm not good at telling people apart. Just remind me of our last conversation then I'll know who you are.


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 86,974
Location: Queens, NYC

25 Aug 2022, 8:20 am

We also call it "taking a dump" in the US.

If you come to the US, don't go into a bar and ask for the "toilet." Ask for the "restroom" or "bathroom." Though I don't believe people get too offended by "toilet" these days.

"Washroom" is a purely Canadian term.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 25 Aug 2022, 8:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 86,974
Location: Queens, NYC

25 Aug 2022, 8:21 am

I've been to the UK about ten times.

I like the fact that, even in Greater London, every little section has at least one substantial "green" where one could play cricket or traipse in the woods.

I also like that I could go into Gregg's and get a meat pie for just over a pound. I don't like it that they charge you if you want to sit in a restaurant.



jimmy m
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jun 2018
Age: 74
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,668
Location: Indiana

25 Aug 2022, 9:01 am

I do not make eye to eye contact. Never did and probably never will. I do not know why. But for people who do not make eye to eye contact, other people can spot you in a second or two. They wrongly come to the immediate conclusion that you are FALSE, a LIER, SOMEONE WHO CAN NOT BE TRUSTED.

Several years ago, I did an interesting experiment on myself. I began wearing special one way sunglasses when I went out. The results were phenomenal. I had strangers come up to me in the middle of the street and begin casual conversations. It was so strange. Eye to eye contact is an automatic trait that NTs use to communicate. It is done without words. It is done with eyes.


_________________
Author of Practical Preparations for a Coronavirus Pandemic.
A very unique plan. As Dr. Paul Thompson wrote, "This is the very best paper on the virus I have ever seen."