pressure to make eye contact

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Do you think it is okay for a counsellor or educator (or anyone for that matter) to pressure people with ASD to make eye contact??

I never make eye contact, and it makes me feel really uncomfortable. I don't see a need for it since I've been told its purpose is to give and receive non-verbal communication. I cannot receive non-verbal communication, and I don't give it off very often either, so eye contact is pointless. A counsellor at school repeatedly tries to force me to make eye contact, and it bothers me. What are your opinions on this?

Making eye contact for several seconds then waiting 5-10 seconds before doing it again isn't very stressful.

I know that consistent/uninterrupted eye contact during normal conversation is often a way of picking a fight with somebody. That's probably why people find it uncomfortable. A counsellor obviously isn't going to fight you for it though. lol

eye contact is not just for sending and receiving information. it is also a social behavior that helps you get ahead in society because 'normal' people get 'ahead' in society.

that said, if you want to 'get ahead' (although im sure you already have one) then, yes, it would be good to learn how to do it and make it more comfortable.

if you're not so interested in getting ahead, then its no biggie.

thats my take.

From memory, I can recall another thread that a professional cannot tell you exactly what to do. I think from some other threads that an educator can give the autistic a technique to make it look like you are in um... eye contact mode...

Same here as I cant read any form of non-verbal communication and verbal communication must be exactly to the point.

My counsellor insists that it is necessary for any social interaction. I have been hired 60 times without eye contact (during interviews, I FORCE myself to look at a person's forehead or mouth, but never eyes...too weird). It might be different when I am going for a career, but I don't know if it is ever going to be possible for me.

Pressuring you to make eye contact? That is wrong.

It is one thing if you want to learn the proper way to do it, or ways to make it look like you are but are not (looking over the person's shoulder at an object in the background), but if looking too closely at a person (or their face or eyes) makes you anxious or stressed or harder to concentrate, then DON'T, and that is perfectly ok. A counselor person should understand that.

I heard the person you're staring at can't tell the difference if you stare at their forehead. It looks like eye contact from their end supposedly.

Family members have pressured me to make eye contact as well; it sucks. Another issue is that I think it makes me look guilty if someone is asking me questions about whether or not I did something wrong. I don't think my eye contact has gotten at all better either. Just try talking to him and tell him how you feel about it. Say the same things you've said here, like how you've been hired 60 times without the eye contact.

To hell with eye contact. I only make eye contact if I'm afraid of someone.
I've never been given any trouble for it though.

No that just makes me more uncomfortable.

I'm on the opposite extreme--I tend to stare hard at people I'm talking to.

If I think about situations, in which I made eye contact, I would probably rather not do it.

My senses are messed up, somehow. I feel like I can't hear unless I see someone, too.

It's difficult to describe. Like I can't pay attention, and the lip reading is a visual aid, which helps me to focus.

When I was tested, I could hear millions of other things, besides the tones in the headphones.

If I can relax, a flood of information comes in through my ears.

Does the counselor at school know that making eye contact for you is uncomfortable? For NT's making eye contact is a normal behavior. It indicates that the persons paying attention, respect, and non-verbal messages. So its a very important non-verbal that teachers and counselors will always make you do. I learned to desensitize the eyes and to look at it like an object. One way to feign eye-contact is to look at someones nose or forehead. You might want to tell the counseler that making eye contact makes you uncomfortable because maybe they think you are disrespecting them by not making eye contact. Just clarify that they should not take it offensively.

I don't really like making eye contact because it just feels really weird and uncomfortable. I tend to focus on someones mouth if they're relatively close. If they're across a room, I just look in their general direction. Even with doing that, I only look at them for a second or two. People noticing that I make little eye contact has only been brought up a couple times that I can remember, so I guess faking eye contact by looking at other parts of their face works.

I think that if someone tried to get me to make direct eye contact with them because they think I should make proper eye contact, It'd have the opposite affect. I'd be less likely to look at them at all.

I don´t understand why looking at somebodys nose should not do the trick? Are you sure he means eye-contact and not the general looking at the nose instead of eye contact?

Looking at peoples face when they are talking is important but I do not think that they can see the difference between eye and nose contact Except if you are Very close.